Embrace love and life.

FML is the new deal.

Gets you through dreary lessons (though you must try try try not to burst out laughing), and makes you think, 'my day ain't too bad after all!'

I am feeling really frustrated over the whole bidding issue. Guess what, I didn't get Computer for Analysis Tool AGAIN. History just repeated itself. WHY ARE THE BIDS SO DARN HIGH THIS SEM?! I am feeling frustrated because we are forced to do modules that we don't want. We don't have much of a choice after the first round of bidding comes and goes. Less spaces, higher bids, I am going broke. 2nd financial crisis?!

I did get Ethics at $53.90 (which was the MINIMUM bid of the last round), but my friend didn't; we placed our bids together with a price difference of $2. I could have bidded for at least 2-3 other modules with the same amount!

AND as if there are not enough problems in the world, I HAVE BEEN PLACED ON ADMINISTRATIVE HOLD. For not paying up my miscellaneous school fees amounting up to $121. Piece of shit! I can't access OASIS  + BOSS BIDDING page until I pay up. Which I have to, by tomorrow, because BOSS bidding closes on Wed, 8AM.

I didn't have to go to school tomorrow (usually I have COMMS in the morn, then EEEKCONS immediately after that) because I am done with my Comms and Econs presentations last week. BUT now, I have to go to the admin office tomorrow to pay up. *&)(**!#*(&#!

I am also getting very sick of Katy Perry's songs, am going to switch to my Mambo playlist.

OMGOSH OMGOSH OMGOSH I just spilled Vitasoy on my trackpad. Not just a few droplets, but a puddle. I was drinking from the small tetra pack and I don't know I accidentaily let go of the packet!?! My brain and hands are not coordinating.

Oh, which reminds me, I went to the supermarket this afternoon to pick up some fresh food. Didn't get a basket or trolley, thought I could balance one long eggplant, one brocolli, one packet of 6 muesli bars, one packet of baby carrots in both hands, but as I reached for the carton of yogurt, I dropped that long eggplant, probably the length of your fore arm. OH MY DARLING EGGPLANT WITH ONCE UNBLEMISHED PURPLE SKIN! Simultaneously, I said 'SHIT!' really loudly (like really loudly); I try not to utter expletives but I seem to lose control over my mouth in these situations.

Nevermind if I were alone, but there are other ways to embarrass oneself further. These came in the presence of 2 old aunties and 1 young lady, standing where they were at the dairy section for they were suppose to promote some products. They just stared and stared and stared (nEhva c preTti gErl b4 aHh?), and I just stared them in the eye (for 1/100 of a second) and scurried off to the cashier. Didn't even borther to change my eggplant because it would be a long walk back to the fresh produce section.

Things are NOT looking very good.

The most awfully dramatic thing happened last night. Ok I'll be straight to the point. MY MACBOOK DIED ON ME. Completely. I can't even get to the start up page without a flashing folder with a question mark staring back at me. Read the instruction manual and it means there is something wrong with the hardware. I should have seen this coming with those lagging signs and all. I am not even upset that I am going to lose all my photos and songs AND MY DOCUMENTS (because technology ALWAYS fails me)... ok I am sad but not as sad as losing my Pol Sci exam drafts for tomorrow. ARGH. But I'm telling myself that it is not the end of the world. It really isn't and I am just going to rely on my memory and God's strength to see me through tomorrow.

Don't ask me why the Macbook died on me. No clue?! Damn shitty, after all that reassurance that it's stable blah blah blah. But I think it's my fault. Who keeps their laptop on for more than half a day?! I just put it to sleep when it is not in use so it prob heated up and became busted inside. Am just going to concentrate on my finals now, so am going to be on internet hiatus for at least a week. Very good, maybe it's a sign from God to keep me offline. I am sneakily using my bro's lappie (who is off in sch)  to whine about this. Will go down to Apple Centre after Wed and pray and hope that the damage will be covered by the warranty. :|

Seriously lucky that I still have the soft copy of my Pol Sci term paper (I have suffered sooo much under this module, haha!) on my thumb-drive because I just saw an email from Prof that we're supposed to upload it to TurnItIn.

AS paper in 4 hours...!

My palms grow cold and the insides of my stomach gets all tangled up when I recall...
Numbness, a conscious battle between the conscious and subconscious- why did I have to know, or rather, now that I know, what am I doing to do? Despair. I hate that feeling. Everytime, it's a constant fight when I remember what happened last year.  I tell myself that hurt, pain, sadness is common to all.  I don't want to be comparing with others and feel pathetic over the whole situation.

If love is a universal emotion, then the pain that it often and inevitably causes will also be universal. Then, will sharing the burden of pain allow us to live through the pain, as it gets too much to bear sometimes?



Somber, melancholy moods decay the soul. My efforts have been futile; or wait, am I even trying my best? OMG, I am so uber emo, Yucks, with that captial Y.

*

Thank you Dawn (handmadelove) I'll stay strong and press on. You hang in there too darl; and I can't wait to see your art work being displayed at Ngee Ann City!

EVERYONE, GO CHECK OUT DAWN'S PRETTY & CUTE ART PIECES ON DISPLAY... THIS WEEKEND! :)