Embrace love and life.

I am doing a very bad job with updating this space. I don't know if I have lost my penchant for blogging; whether it is due to the lack of interest or the hectic academic semester but nonetheless I am regretful that I wouldn't have somewhere tangible where I've stored my memories, thoughts and life events to turn back to in future.

That's why I am adamant on blogging about my 21st, even though it's slightly more than a week late.

My 21st birthday definitely felt different, and of course, in a great way. Finally, a birthday celebration that was significant of a rite of passage, I am finally an adult! Can finally sign my own consent forms in university, can vote in the next GE! ;)

The anticipation for the actual day wasn't that high as I had a 8.30am class, and another one later at 3.30pm so it was essentially an entire day in school. But thanks to Facebook, many were notified of my birthday and sent well-wishes, smiles and hugs along the way. I got countless numbers of SMS-es when the clock struck midnight which left with sweet dreams and feeling really happy throughout the day.

My awesome India buddies HX and Parveen even SURPRISED me during Sociology of Food's 20 minute break- a bunch of roses, a delish mixed fruit pavlova from Cedele and a birthday song sang repeatedly outside Four Seasons which caused some mild embarrassment on my part. :p Really didn't expect any of that and I felt the love and am so thankful for the both of them. Thank you the both of you! <3



The highlight of my 21st was my party at Treehouse cafe two days later.






Theme: PAPARAZZI. I don't even know what it really means in terms of the dressing, kinda Hollywood glam, red-carpet, strut, pose, all-modelish I guess?! 





I almost chose the theme 'Joyce's Political Party' since my first major is in Political Science; giving out 'Vote for Joyce' badges, posters of a scandal (no politician is without a scandal anyway!) and wouldn't it be fun to come as your 'favourite' political figures? Sarah Palin, Stalin, LKY, Kim Jong-Il..... I AM SO DOING TO DO THAT NEXT YEAR! :p

My closest girlfriends were such blessings to me. Being the perfectionist that I am, I wanted the whole party to be smooth-sailing, from deco to food to programmes, but I guess I have to just kick back and allow these sort of entertainment events to take its course. However, Slam (the funky pro make-up artist, spicy number emcee and my dearest cell groupie), Sam (the bestie who gave that amazing speech with the hilarious poem we wrote during our younger days!) and Fong (my sister-in-Christ and one heck of an amazing photographer!) were there to sooth my jittered nerves and who made this birthday party a truly memorable one.

I love you girls, life has brought us thus far and I hope to do the same thing a couple of years down the road or should I say, the aisle? ;) My heart can't express the amount of thanks for the help the three of you have so graciously shown that day.



I wish my other close girlfriends could share that day with me, but too bad they were dispersed across the globe or had other plans on that day itself! MG B3 babes (Mish & F5), Olie (who sent a lovely card all the way from San Fran!), Si (who called from Aussie to wish me 'Happy Birthday' and asked if I wanted a hairband or earrings, hehe), Hang, Adora especially! Still, thank you all for the wishes and being there in spirit!

Still, I had a great time with my closest friends that day. SMU school mates- the RunTeam peeps, FTB'08 fellow facis, Frujchaholics, classmates, travel mates, random people I've met along the corridors but are my friends now, Bartley Church CG, AC AA3 lovelies, MG/Girls' Brigade sistas, my dearest family... thank you all for taking time off to make the party such a smashing success! Really, really felt the love!

( MEGA PIC HEAVY. )

And a special shout-out to HX, my roomie for 3 months in India for that lovely acoustic guitar rendition of Jason Mraz's Life Is Wonderful (indeed, it is with my loved ones around)... you have such a great voice and I am really touched beyond words!



Also to my awesome CG guys, Ian and Joash... thank you for the Birthday Song by Corinne May... the lyrics are so so meaningful!! 





I still need to ask Ivan to upload the photos he's taken! Amazing to have friends so interested in photography to capture the special moments :)

And, I got really meaningful gifts that are 'just so Joyce' as friends would say- recipe books, pretty notebooks, vintage print stationery set, a study Bible (thank you CG, this was really what I wanted), a cute chunky ring, cosmetics, various accessories like earrings and a hairband, a bottle of Vodka, a teddy, a daisy, a quaint little picnic basket, 2 storybooks (one of which is The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath, one of my favourite books, thanks HX!), a book on Christian dating (yeah, it couldn't come at a better time...), 3 dresses (2 of which have floral prints, and a black one), a couple of gift cards, 3 bags, beautiful cards with even more beautiful words in them... and oh, 1 box of Special-K cereal, 4 cups of low-fat Chocolate pudding, a box of Twinnings Chamomile Vanilla tea, 1 packet of DIY strawberry yogurt, 1 packet of healthy nuts... Haha my roomie knows me so well. BUT I REALLY LOVE EVERY SINGLE THING I'VE RECEIVED but the most important things like MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS ARE PRICELESS. Cliche but it's so true!

(Photo credits: Fong & Sher)

The days need to slow down, but unfortunately this can only be a by-saying as time waits for no man. School's starting in less than 2 weeks or there about!! I can't believe the major bumming around is coming to an end soon, and it's about time to kick the rusty brain gears (sounds like some sort of protective guard for the brain...) into some action.

I'm ambivalent about starting school. I'm glad that I have gone for camps, because it's true when the seniors say it's a time to make new friends and not risk being a loner on the first proper day of school. It's through the 3 camps so far and my ELW course that I have met and made many fabulous friends from SMU. Why ambivalent then? Answer's easy.... the workload. :s

My email inbox is flooded from my ELW course mates. I am grateful for them, if not being the blur squid I am, I wouldn't have known about the academic writing course, the bidding system etc... My academic talk is scheduled next week while most of the bigger faculties have gone though the talk already. I can only cross my fingers and pray that I don't miss any important times/dates and what have you due to ignorance on my part. Not such a great way to start an academic term.

There are so many things which I wish to update about!

Firstly, meeting my BBF, Sam, and in her words, 'after earth took a few revolutions around the sun'. We used to meet up weekly, or once a fortnight but lately, our schedules have been packed to the brim that it was hard to squeeze in a common slot for the much needed girl-talk-advice catharsis session. It made me more aware of the need to be able to balance everything from responsibilities and relationships, and not forsake one at the expanse of the other. There were times when I glanced at the phone, willing myself to make a simple phone call to special people in my life, and this includes my grandma, but somehow, I always hold back. I guess this is one thing that I have to change. Simple words like, 'I miss you, how have you been', or 'Hey, just to let you know that I'm thinking of you despite finding myself drowning in obligations...'.

Slam, I hope I made your day with the birthday call, despite finding it hard to meet up with you too.

As I was saying, I am just thankful for Sam because I'm glad to have no-holds when it comes to sharing about everything under the sun with her.

Secondly, the B3 gathering last Sunday. Juicy gossip abounds when you put a group of girls together. Felt so great catching up with one another, and with ex-classmates you haven't seen in 3 years. JC life pales in comparison with our poly friends. I'm envious of their exciting lives! Seriously, lots of good stuff came out of that 4 hours of talking, over dinner at Swensons.

Thirdly, I visited Dawn's art show at Red Dot Design Museum and got my portrait done by her. I love it, it's so cute and congrats dear for getting into Curtin (erm, correct me if I'm wrong!) and for your successful art show. :) Support local talent!

Today, I went back to AC with Si with the intentions to play squash at the courts but unfortunately, we are required to pay a norminal fee to use the courts! Boo. No such thing as being an ex-student, an alumnai! :(
Ah well, we still managed to psyche ourselves to run outside of school, around Singapore Poly because it's been ages (ok, only a week) since we ran. The weather is just a killer. So hot!

Glad we caught up with the teachers we wanted to meet, which is only just 2 of them. I find they make time to actually talk to us, to genuinely find out about what's been going on in our lives, and to even confide in us. :)  It makes you feel very welcomed anytime, and I'm grateful to these 2 wonderful tutors I have.

Had CIP at Zhenghua Primary at 4pm, today is just the preparation for our carnival booth. My booth's balloon sculpturing, and all we have to do is to pump balloons, and twist them into animals and objects that vaguely resembles a dog/giraffe/bunny/butterfly/sword/flower and whatever else your imagination allows you to. I hope that the kids would be orderly tomorrow, since the balloons would be free. We are supposed to pump 700 balloon in all, but I think if we hit 300 it would be a feat already.  The only balloon pumps we have are really small, and requires repeated pressing of the thumb and fore-finger... which only tires us out pretty quickly. Diminishing returns to scale. Heh heh. But pretty excited to see the smiles on the kiddos' faces when we hand the balloons out. We've seen so many adorable kids today, and it makes me miss my P3 class a lot.

OH...! I know I am mega slow, but I just started watching Prison Break. That's because I didn't really have time to watch TV during JC. Borrowed the VCDs from Fong's brother and it's SO good. Love the plot. It's complex in a very smart way, and everyone's right about Wentworth Miller man. He oozes charm and sexiness with the eyes and everything about him. Hahaha. What I just said was quite embarrassing as I never really saw myself as a 'fan girl'!

Should head to bed now. Super duper tired, and early day tomorrow.
I owe BK trip updates and photos.... (as a note to myself).

Days are spent reading Margaret Atwood's Cat Eye, vegetating in front of Discovery Travel and Living (I don't watch DVDs because of my short attention span), doing Sudoko, checking up travel guides and websites on Bangkok (will be going there with Si and Daph at the end of this month) and doing lots of 'research' on SMU Matriculation Day. Will be going down with Si and Sher, whom I have not seen in over three months! Oh and while for the SMU website, I see softplaces being a poster girl for Law School. That's so cool Jan!

My interest for shopping has greatly subsided, and it's a good thing because it's starting to burn a hole in my pocket plus my mum has been nagging at me to stop buying shoes. On last count I have over 25 pairs, and it never really dawned on me that I could amass such a huge stash. On any given day, I'm just found in Birks and a comfy pair of pumps anyway. Another reason why I don't shop as much as I do previously is because the weather is a freaking average of 30 degrees C outside and with the humidity, that just puts me off. Shopping Centres are air-conditioned, but I feel the things are just carbon copies after some time and it gets boring after sometime. I feel the need to spend my time 'productively', and even though it may not produce really tangible results like economical gains, it is gratifying to note that time and energy invested into relationships and sometimes, just solitude yields much pleasure and satisfaction. Besides, at least watching Discovery is some sort of gaining knowledge, given the titular name of the channel itself.

Much of the time is also spent with friends who are going to go overseas soon, we trying to fib ourselves into maximising the time left in Singapore together. I regret not having made it to Nat's farewell party last Sat evening. Just recalling the few days before when I sat on the floor of my room, flipping through past photos... I don't really know exactly how to pin-point that feeling. Nat's a good friend but I've never been particulary close to her, perhaps it's got to do with our varied interests but at the same time, I feel comfortable around her. I can say stupid things, share our thoughts and the most recent being after the SMU high tea season when I bummed around with her at Kino while waiting for the rest of F5 to appear for dinner. I wish her all the best as she moves on to her next stage in life, hopefully she'll retain some of her craziness; the nutty Nat as we all know her to be! I'll miss you dearly Nat!

The first two photos look SO ancient. Taken in 2003, when we were in Sec 3. Some heritage trail outing and during OBS. I miss OBS times! I shared a tent with Nat, Sue, Pet and Di then, and we were so obsessed about keeping our tent clean, which of course, was a good thing and we didn't have any politics... like how did politics evolve during OBS? Ok, it's possible but it's so silly!




So dearest Nat, thank you for all the laughter and the encouragement that you've graciously shown when we were still in school. I'd remember you for your corny jokes, your resonant loud voice, your friendly smiles and though you may be a tad blur sometimes, that's what made you so endearing. :*) You taught me what it is like to be outgoing, to be gusto (remember all the performances b3 has to put up and usually you'll be together with Honyi/Meg/Aliya to lead the class!) to embrace your individuality (you have the funkiest dress sense), and at the same time, to be a lady after God's heart. All the best, I'm should be off to send you an email soon.

See once in a while when it's good
It'll feel like it should
And they're all still around
And you're still safe and sound
And you don't miss a thing
'til you cry when you're driving away in the dark.

I emptied my drawers and shelves, in attempt to junk out all my A level notes and files. Secret's out, I've been procrastinating cleaning for gawd, half a year! The floor's so messy and from prior experiences, it usually takes about 2-3 days to neaten up the area, and this year's clean-up is no different. While it gives me great satisfaction to tie up 5 NTUC plastic bags filled with rubbish (But I set aside the papers for recycling.), I also deliberate over the things that hold many memoies for me, like school memorabilia and.. this is the ultimate, lots of cards, letters, gifts and even notes we passed in class behind our teachers' backs, from friends from Primary and Secondary school, and even during my ACJC years. All that accumulates to one huge drawer's worth of space and almost a lifetime of memories.

I thought that I am not as sentimental as before, but I guess a leapord never changes its spots. I cannot tear myself away from these things, although they may be mere pieces of pretty paper. I find my fingers delicately opening the envelopes, eyes scanning through the letters that from words and words that gradually form sentences, and I usually can't help but just smile. These memories were awoken once again, and then I realise that it's pretty easy to just box up the past as the present comes along to whisk you into the future. I doubt that I would bring out these to the trash tomorrow; it would be as if I am physically emptying my memory banks and there isn't a reason for me to do so, these memories, mostly during my formitive years of being a tween, an adolescent are definitely for keeps. 

I do see myself as a seventeen year old at heart, but who am I kidding? I can't believe I'm reaching the big two-O next year, and would be bidding being a 'reckless, impulsive' teenager, goodbye while taking the time to savour the joys and woes of adulthood, bundles with a whole new set of challenges and new memories of course. 

When I read all the letters, the cards; there are many emotions that flow through me. Firstly, encouragement, because these people who have wrote regularly and whose letters I keep, always have a word or two to lift my spirits and bring a cheer to me. Although there are some, and I say this regretfully, whom I have drifted far, far away from over the course of 5-6 years, I am still grateful for their presence during that point in time that they've been there for me. Who knows what outcomes life would bring? Maybe we'll be having a reunion a few years down the road! 

Secondly, this may come as a surprise, but sometimes, I feel embarrassed, due to the immaturity of some of the subjects discussed. Having said that, it's more like a Ohmygawd HA-HA-HA embarrassed rather than a guilt-induced kind of embarrassment. It's like digging up your Sec 3 and Sec 4 blog entries and reading them all over again. I'm just SO glad I'm past that stage in life, that super-protected, my-world-is-a-happy-bubble kinda place. And as I look back, I can really chart how much I have grown, in terms of my character, my beliefs, my outlook in life in general. For the better, I feel. 

The ultimate is when I dig out photos. I get excited and then just stare in amazement at how different many of my friends and myself have looked then. I have to make it a point to scan some photos in. I was an awkward kid, with ugly glasses. So embarrassing, but I can accept that, at least that was when I was an age where the lack of any fashion sense was forgivable. I love my Primary One class photo, there are so many people that I am actually quite close to now, and I'm happy for that. Wouldn't it be cool if there was an MGS 1995 Primary 1.6 reunion?! It's been more than a decade man. And our form teacher then is back to teaching MGS again! 

I look different just 2 years back. So many changes have taken place, even though it's just 24 months back. A little scary. 

One thing I noted is that it was a habit to write a letter to each other at least once a week; maybe because it was an 'era' when handphones were not as rampantly available to kids as compared to today (I got my first handphone, a Nokia 8310 only in Sec 2 I think), and when most of our Internet connections have yet to achieve broadband status, hence emailing is too much of a hassle. I'm glad actually, to have received things that I can easily retrive over the next decade or so, despite yellowing edges and such. I don't have many photos of say, the present and the not so far back future because everything is digitalised and I haven't exactly printed out photos as compared to the 120mm rolls of films that we developed almost immediately once 36 shots were taken. So note to myself: Send some recent photos for printing if I don't want to seem like I'm still stuck in the 90s, or early to mid 2000s.

Ok, back to clearing my floor/table/drawers. Hardly done, and no where near done. Wish me luck! Might unearth even more gems or ghosts of my past. Whichever fits the bill.

Why don't you rake up some physical memories of  your past too?
Leave a comment to tell me how it went! :) Or if not, just share some past memories with me!