Embrace love and life.

love should never get to the point of stranglation, entanglement, nor should it be any where near "i can't live without you". the limit should only be "my life will be bleak without you, incomplete" but never mention of Non-existance. the thought of that (over)reliance scares and shames me. for what will you be as a single person, a half of something?

how should i explain this? i've never felt so close to myself since being out of a relationship. at the beginning i felt displaced, helpless, aimless almost. it took me awhile to get back on track, but you know what? it is good. and i won't be needing that ill reliance love, for a long long time.

i cannot stand this. how can you expect your dad to do ur bloody homework just because you don't have time, and then still have the cheek to question this and that, and make unnecessary demands? you're in POLY already, practically an adult. knowing your work load you shld bloody prioritise, or just take the responsibility or whatever punishment that comes your way if you dont complete it. even if you were in primary school, on no grounds should ur parents have to take the responsibility to complete your work. i'm fuming mad, because this kinda behavior is DISGUSTING, and ashamed because i know that the upbringing probably fueled it, and sad because this is all there is to his life. taking advantage of situations and manipulating people.

had a long needed toxic sleep and super filling home cooked meal today, still in the midst of planning my itinary for viet. i'm finding a way to extend my trip, but 10th will be the earliest i can get back, and i can't miss school? but i want to travel north to Ha Long bay. HCMC seems just like singapore without the manufactured culture which is good, but i still need a country getaway. this is exciting, the prospect of travelling alone.

i shall pack my room tonight.

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europe for exchange? but where? (grace, this is a cue for you to help me in my decision) i need to decide soon. so that i can find something to fuel my expenses.
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credits: amanda lam

finally, a picture of me with the world's yummiest popsicle, we walked 40 minutes in the 42 degree blazing sun for this, i had 3 of them.

(  ещё 3 )

♠ The thing that prevents people from living together is their stupidity, not their difference.

♠ For the very first time in a long time the very next day seemed ... conceivable. Yes, that was exactly it: conceivable. She had a place where she liked to live. A strange, idiosyncratic place, like the people living there.

♠ She had met an extraterrestrial. An odd but generous individual, who stood a thousand leagues above the horde and yet did not act the least bit conceited. Then there was that other strange bird. Well, with him it was a bit more complicated... He was a bit more complicated but probably simpler too: the operating instructions seemed to be fairly basic.

♠ A pen, you see, you hold it between your thumb and your index finger. No wait. you hold it however you want. After that, it's not hard, you don't ever think about it. Your hands don't exist anymore. The important thing happens elsewhere. No, this won't do, it's still too pretty, you know. No one gives a damn about pretty. There are children's drawings and glossy magazines for that. So put on your mittens, little genius, little empty shell , yes, go on, put them on I tell you, and maybe at last you'll see, you'll draw an almost perfect failed circle.

♠When you talked with her it was like playing ping-pong. She could keep the pace and send you a smash ball into the corner just when you least expected it, and as a result you got the feeling you weren't clueless after all.

♠ 'You think they're like your pencil leads? That they get worn down when you use them?'
'What?'
'Feelings'

♠ Because you have to snap out of it, this skin of yours that's too tight for you. See, you're suffocating inside.You have to go out of it now. Go ahead. I want to hear the seam ripping down your back.

♠ 'Franck?'
'Yes?'
'I have six sisters...'
'So?'
'So let me tell you, it's the simplest thing in the word: give in, what woman wants, God wants'
'Who said that?'
'It's folk wisdom'

This was his most unspeakable ambition: to found the religion of man. In the Tent of the New Worship the Winemen and the Waterers were calling one another heretics and fools. The emperor wanted to confess his secret disappointment in all mystics and philosophers. He wanted to sweep the whole argument aside, to erase the centuries of inheritance and reflection, and allow man to stand naked as a baby upon the throne of heaven. (If man had created god then man could uncreate him too. Or was it possible for a creation to escape the power of the creator? Could a god, once created, become impossible to destroy? Did such fiction acquire an autonomy of the will that made them immortal? The emperor did not have the answers, but the questions themselves felt like answers of a kind.)

The Enchantress of Florence - Salman Rushdie

ROCHESTER: Madam, I offer my services. If you see no advantage in them, they can as easy be withdrawn.
BARRY: You can buy my slit for a pound a night sir. I would not mind that, but I think you would not have it so. What I think you want is power over me which I do bridle at, for it is only I can make myself into what you say I can be, and if you wish to play a part in this, I would strongly know why.
ROCHESTER: Ask yourself what you want from the theatre.
BARRY: I want the passionate love of my audience. I want, when I make a sweep of my arm to carry their hearts away, and when I die that they should sigh for never seeing me again - till the next afternoon.
ROCHESTER: There is your answer. I want to be one of that multitude. I wish to be moved. I cannot feel in life, I must have others do it for me here.
BARRY : You are spoken of as a man with a stomach for life.
ROCHESTER: I am the cynic of our golden age. This bounteous dish which our Great Charles and our Great God have - in more or less equal measure - placed before us sets my teeth permanently on edge. Life has no purpose, it is everywhere undone by arbitrariness: I do this, but it matters not a jot if I do the opposite. But in the playhouse, every action good or bad has its consequence; drop a handkerchief and it will return to smother you. Outside the playhouse there are for me no crimes and no consequences.
BARRY: Except in the eyes of God.
ROCHESTER: God is a thing men have made to frighten themselves with. Once frightened, they find meaning, like children playing in the scarecrow's field. Well I am not to be frightened. I have shied my stones at the scarecrow, it is struck down and I am not.
BARRY: But you are not content.
ROCHESTER: Contentment is the drug of fools. I prefer truth. And the truth is that we are animals scratching and rutting under an empty sky. Here in this theatre we can pretend that our lives have meaning. But the pretence only holds if we are given the truth. That is why I wish to see you shine on this stage, that is why, selfishly, I wish to train you. The theatre is my soothing drug, and my cynic's illness is so far advanced that my physic must be of the highest quality.



-- Stephen Jeffreys, The Libertine

"Everybody's youth is a dream, a form of chemical madness"
"How pleasant then to be insane!"

"At any rate, let us love for a while, for a year or so, you and me. That's a form of divine drunkedness that we can all try. There are only diamonds in the whole world, diamonds and perhaps the shabby gift of disillusion."


F. Scott Fitzgerald

Neither could have said if their mutual dependence was based on love or convenience, but they had never asked the question with their hands on their hearts because both had always preferred not to know the answer.

He was still too young to know that the heart's memory eliminates the bad and magnifies the good, and that thanks to this artifice we manage to endure the burden of the past.

The Widow Nazaret never missed her occasional appointments with Florentino Ariza, not even during her busiest times, and it was always without pretension of loving or being loved, although always in the hope of finding something that resembled love, but without the problems of love.

In the restorative idleness of solitude, on the other hand, the widows discovered that the honourable way to love was at the body's bidding, eating only when hungry, loving without lies, sleeping without having to feign sleep in order to escape the independency of official love, possessed at last of the right to an entire bed to themselves, where no one fought them for half of the sheet, half of the air they breathed, half of their night, until their bodies were satisfied with dreaming their own dreams, and they woke alone.


Gabriel García Márquez

A cycle has been completed , all disturbances have been resolved perplexities have been concealed, and things have returned to thier original state. Around us, cause and effect join hands, and snythesis and division maintain their equilibrum, everything, finally, unfolded in a place resembling a deep, inaccessible fissure. Such places open secret entries into darkness in the interval between midnight and the time the sky grows light. None of our principles has any effect there. No one can predict when or where such abyss will swallow people, or when or where they will spit them out.


Haruki Murakami